It's been a year and a half since my daughter was born and it is simply amazing how much my life has changed. I've gotten married, graduated from high school, moved out of my parents home, gone to college for a while, and just recently, I even moved across the country. I have missed out on a lot. I didn't get to go to my senior homecoming dance because I was on bedrest. Obviously I didn't get to play powder puff. I missed out on my last seasons of cross country and track. I can't say that I'm not sorry I missed out on those things. But I will say that I am thankful for what I got instead.

My daughter is the light of my life. She means everything to me. If I had lost her, it would have been like losing myself. Today she is getting to be such a big girl. She's walking and running, learning to jump, and climbing all over the place. She's sleeping in a toddler bed, and FINALLY beginning to stay in it most of the night! She has stopped nursing, although sometimes she still climbs in bed with me saying, "Nur?"

I smile and tell her,"It's empty, honey."

"Em'y?" she says.

"Yes, it's empty." She smiles, hugs me, and lays her head down on my chest. This makes me want to cry, know that she grown up enough to understand when something is empty, but that I'm still there for her to hold and cuddle with.

There are a lot of thing that have helped me get through the hard times over the past two years. Some of the things that have helped hold me up include my faith, my parents, my dear husband, and my best friend. Though I have had many doubts and questions about God and religion, I always knew that if I believed in the Lord, no matter how bad things seemed, it would get better. My parents helped me as well. They were so upset when they first found out that I was pregnant. Over time, they accepted it, and grew to feel excitement and love for the new member of our family. My husband, Nick, and my best friend, Karen, were both there for me whenever I needed them. I could always them them how I was feeling and know they had a shoulder for me to cry on if I needed to.

One of the last things that I believe has helped me through the more difficult times was my theory on parenting. I never heard of co-sleeping, baby-wearing, or attachment parenting until several weeks or months after Jade was born, but they all made my life a little easier.